Burger & Lobster, London

I must be the last person writing about this place. I do talk about it though. All the time in fact. It’s my new place where I take my out of town friends to impress them with my knowledge of London’s restaurant scene. Ok, in terms of knowledge not quite a feat I know, everyone knows about it already.

It’s mostly a no reservation policy (although you can reserve for larger groups). I have been to 3 out of the 4 branches. It works something like this: you arrive, give your name and mobile number and in exchange you are advised of the likely waiting time. At the Soho branch we waited for over 2 hours, 1.5 hours at Mayfair, and a mere 30 minutes at the city branch. They are cool though. They let you have drinks at the bar or even somewhere else and call you when the table is ready. Most people have drinks at the bar there, which is a scene in itself. The bar staff know their alcohol and if you are not tempted by any of the drinks on the menu, they are more than happy to make anything else for you. Be prepared to part with most of a £10 note for a cocktail.

Now for the food. This is a theme restaurant. It’s either a burger or a lobster. That’s it. You know when you go somewhere and the waiters ask you if you know how it works. When you do finally get a table the very efficient waiters spend about 5 minutes explaining that there are only two things on the menu-there’s no written menu- it’s a verbal one. Burger or lobster, a whole one. There is also the choice of a lobster sandwich, which comes in a brioche. The latter is plain pointless if you ask me. All come with a salad and fries and cost £20=. I should mention that from the moment you order, the food arrives within 5 minutes, if not less.

I find this a paradox. How can a burger cost £20? This must be one of, if not the most expensive burger in London. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good, but in London there are many burger joints with a lot of good burgers. And they don’t cost near as much!

But then there is a lobster, a whole one for just £20. This feels like its good value, I’m not convinced that it is- but what would I know. But there aren’t many lobster joints, which means that there aren’t many good lobsters either.

So most of us go there for the lobster, which is a good lobster. In fact it’s so much fun that we want to go back. We want to go back somewhere where the waiting time on average over an hour. And we are happy about it. All to have some lobster, which will cost us the meagre sum of £20=. But by the time we sit down we have already become very familiar with the cocktails and end up spending upward of £60 per person, when all we wanted was to have a lobster.

On reflection, this is a dreadful place. Whether you are in Soho, with the cool and trendy crowd- this by the way is my favourite- or in Mayfair with the size 6 designer clad ladies, trying to impress an eligible bachelor by pretending to like food, or the city branch with all the suits. The place is decorated in the manner of an upmarket shack: it appeals, and the waiters are clearly good at their jobs. The kitchen staff must be ok too although how difficult is it to cook a lobster?

I still don’t know when it is that we started not only enjoying but it seems wanting to wait for what feels like an age to eat. It seems that we are loving it. Waiting list has become the new reservation. But really, let me be honest, it’s awful. Save for the lobster of course. And the cocktails. And the service. And the ambience. All that aside, it’s awful.

Did I mention, I am back there next week. I just can't help myself. It must be all the waiting.

Rating 2/5                                                            

Mains are £20=, no starters
Burger & Lobster 4 locations around central London, check their website for full details